


Nightmares

by AnimationNut



Series: Into the Spider-Chat [6]
Category: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Death, Don't copy to another site, Found Family, Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Platonic Cuddling, Psychic Bond, Team as Family, Violence, spider-fam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:22:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29503356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnimationNut/pseuds/AnimationNut
Summary: When you've been through trauma, nightmares can be an unfortunate side-effect. The Spider-Fam are no strangers to horrific dreams. But while most have had to suffer alone in the past, that is now no longer the case. They have each other, and love is more powerful than fear.
Relationships: Miles Morales & Peni Parker & Gwen Stacy, Miles Morales & Peter B. Parker, Peni Parker & Peter Benjamin Parker, Peni Parker & SP//dr (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse), Peter Porker & Gwen Stacy
Series: Into the Spider-Chat [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1508897
Comments: 43
Kudos: 69





	1. Miles

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Into the Spider-verse.
> 
> There will be some brief descriptions of violence and death, which some may consider to be gruesome and graphic. Not entirely sure if the Graphic Depictions of Violence warning is warranted, but since the scenes will take place in every chapter, I figure better safe than sorry.

_Blood soaked the front of his costume. It pooled against the cement of the alley and trailed slow tracks towards the sewer drain. Aaron’s body was lifeless beneath him, crimson leaking through the front of his Prowler gear and gathering under his back._

_“It’s your fault,” Aaron spoke, his lips moving though his eyes were blank. “It’s all your fault.”_

_“I’m sorry,” Miles said desperately. “Uncle Aaron, I’m so sorry.”_

_“You failed,” said Aaron grimly, and for a split second his face was replaced with that of blonde Peter Parker. “You failed us.”_

_The alley disintegrated and reformed into Kingpin’s secret lair. The collider was going crazy, colours flashing at a rapid pace and buildings and vehicles erupting out of the beam. Miles hung from the ceiling with the goober clutched in his hand. He frantically tried to stick the overdrive into the slot but it wouldn’t fit._

_A clear mechanical tentacle wrapped around his waist and yanked him away from the circuit board. “Poor little boy,” she mocked. “You’re out of your league.”_

_Doc Ock flung him across the collider and he smacked hard into the wall. He found himself stuck in the indent the impact had created and he wriggled helplessly. He looked down to see Peni, Ham, Noir and Gwen being overwhelmed by bullets. He screamed as blood sprayed and bodies fell limp._

_“No! Stop! Please stop!”_

_“Well, well, well.” Kingpin walked along the length of a floating bus, dragging an unconscious Peter B behind him. His mask had been ripped off and his face was bruised and smeared with blood. “Look at all these Spiders I get to squash.”_

_Miles could only look on in horror as Kingpin slammed Peter against the top of the bus. “Please!” he sobbed. “Please leave him alone!”_

_“You don’t want him to die? Then come save him.”_

_Kingpin raised his arms and swung them down, crushing Peter’s chest._

…

Miles woke with a strangled gasp.

Sweat coated his body and he gasped for breath, tears gathering in his eyes and starting to spill down his cheeks. He shoved off his covers, suddenly feeling unbearably hot. He scrubbed his hands down his face.

_It’s just a dream. It’s okay. It’s fine. They’re fine._

But he couldn’t banish Aaron or Peter Parker from his mind. Their dead bodies, broken and bloody, shimmered in full colour and he wanted to throw up.

He climbed shakily from his top bunk to the floor, sparing a glance for Ganke, who was fast asleep with his headphones firmly in place. Miles tried to take a few deep breaths, for his heartbeat was racing and he didn’t want it to reach the rate that would cause his PMT to send out a distress signal.

He gripped the edge of his computer desk and hunched over, his body trembling. “Come on, Miles,” he whispered. “Pull it together.”

It wasn’t a nightmare he was a stranger to, though it didn’t always play out in the same way. Sometimes Miles remembered them. Sometimes he didn’t and would wake up with a tight chest and damp skin. But this one was different.

This nightmare was the first in which his friends had died.

The blood squirting from their wounds. Their bodies falling through the air. Peter’s bones practically crumbling into dust as—

Miles whimpered and pressed the palms of his hands over his eyes. He pulled them away when black dots danced across vision, cutting through the disturbing imagery. With his breathing still shaky and his heart still pounding, Miles raised his wrist.

He transported himself outside Peter’s apartment. He stood on the sidewalk in his bare feet and pajamas, staring up at the windows that belonged to Peter. The night air was crisp and stung the back of his throat as he gulped it down.

He shot a quick look around to make sure he was alone before scaling the building. He peeked through the dirt-streaked glass and the sight of Peter asleep in his bed finally allowed Miles’ body to relax.

His Spider-Fam was alive.

He’d been able to save them.

His throat tightened as he thought of Aaron and his dimension’s Peter Parker. The rise of sadness and grief was halted by the shock Miles felt when Peter suddenly jerked upwards, his eyes locking onto the thirteen-year-old.

“Sorry!” said Miles quickly, finally registering the warm hum on the back of his neck. “I’m leaving—”

“Wait, bud.” Brow creased with concern, Peter stood and went over to the window, sliding it open. “What’s up?”

“Just wanted to check on you,” muttered Miles, ears heating with embarrassment. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“You should have,” chided Peter lightly. “You know I don’t care. How long were you out here?”

“Just a minute.”

“Huh. I must have been in a pretty deep sleep not to feel your presence immediately.”

Miles flinched. “Sorry,” he repeated.

“Stop apologizing. It’s fine. Get in here before someone sees you.”

Peter extended a hand and Miles grasped it. He was hauled into the apartment and Peter closed the window behind him. He twisted around and leaned against the sill, regarding Miles intently. “Everything okay?”

“Just a nightmare,” said Miles with a tired, bitter laugh.

“About me?”

“Um, yeah, kind of.”

He seemed reluctant to share more details, averting his gaze. Peter clasped his shoulder and said gently, “You want something to drink?”

“Yeah, water would be great,” said Miles gratefully.

The topic hung in the air but Peter didn’t press, wanting Miles to confide in him when he was ready. He knew how powerful nightmares could be, especially considering their jobs as Spider-Men, and didn’t want to upset the teen even more.

He filled a glass with water and Miles chugged it down. He wiped the excess water from his lips and set the glass on the counter. “Can I stay here for the night?” he asked softly.

“Of course you can. You want anything else? Some warm milk or something?”

“No, I’m good. Thanks, though.”

“All right.”

Miles wandered over to Peter’s mattress, aware of the man’s attentive look. When they were settled under the covers, he pressed close against his side and Peter immediately pulled him against his chest, his arms encircling him.

“I’m right here, bud,” he said soothingly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know,” whispered Miles. “It…it started out as the same nightmare. Uncle Aaron is killed and…and he’s telling me it’s my fault, and Mr. Parker’s face takes over his and he’s telling me I failed them.”

Miles’ breath started to tremble and Peter tightened his grip. “You know that’s not true,” he said fiercely. “Your uncle told you so himself. And if your Peter Parker was anything like me, he doesn’t blame you.”

“I know,” said Miles shakily. “I know they don’t. You told me a while ago that the guilt fades. But it’s still there.”

“But you don’t feel it every second of every day, right?” asked Peter.

“No.”

“Then it is fading. Slowly but surely. Maybe a piece of it will always stay with you. I know it has for me. But what happened to you, Miles, was out of your control. Your powers were barely a day old. The most powerful crime boss in the city was after you. What’s important is that you rose to the challenge in the end. And you did, Miles. You’re phenomenal.”

“Thanks. I just wish I could have been in control of my powers when I first got them,” whispered Miles.

Peter gave a sad smile. “Trust me, bud, that’s something we all wish. I’m afraid it just doesn’t work like that. All we can do is keep going.”

“And keep getting up.”

“Exactly.” Peter paused and, when it became clear that Miles would not say anything further, spoke carefully, “You said that I was in your nightmare.”

“Yeah,” said Miles quietly. “Um…after Uncle Aaron and Mr. Parker, the nightmare became something different. I was suddenly at Kingpin’s collider and…and I couldn’t beat Doc Ock. Gwen, Peni, and Noir and Ham…they were killed by Kingpin’s goons.” His voice shuddered and tears blurred his eyes, but he forced himself to press on. “And then…and then Kingpin showed up with you and you were unconscious and he killed you. He killed you the same way he killed Mr. Parker and I couldn’t save you—”

Tears dampened the front of Peter’s pajama shirt and he promptly sat up so he could wrap his arms more securely around the upset teen. Miles clung to his shirt, his breathing shaky, and Peter tucked his chin against Miles’ hair.

“You saved me, Miles,” he said, and immense gratitude and adoration swelled within him. “You saved me in so many ways. You saved the others. We’re alive because of you.”

“I know,” said Miles, his voice muffled against Peter’s chest. “It’s just…the thought of losing you is terrifying. And I know it could happen at any point, because what we do is dangerous and unpredictable.”

“It is,” murmured Peter. “But you know what’s different? What me, Noir, Ham, Gwen and Peni haven’t had before?”

“What?”

“You. Each other. The PMTs. Now, whenever one of us is in trouble, we’ll be able to call for help.”

“What if we’re too late?” whispered Miles. “What if I’m too late?”

“You don’t blame yourself,” said Peter firmly. He leaned back and Miles glanced up, meeting his intense gaze. “Because at the end of the day, we’re still only human. You hear me?”

“I hear you, but it’ll be hard,” said Miles, his throat constricting at the thought of losing Peter or any other member of his Spider-Fam.

“I know,” said Peter. He swallowed thickly and said roughly, “I can’t stand the thought of something happening to you or the others. But that’s a dangerous thought to drown in. So promise me something. Whenever you get scared, or have these dark ideas that won’t leave your head, you’ll come talk to me and we’ll work through it together.”

“I promise,” said Miles. “You have to promise too.” When Peter looked at him in surprise, Miles said sternly, “It works both ways, man.”

Peter smiled, affection burning in his eyes. “Yeah, buddy. I promise.” He ran his hand lightly down Miles’ back. “Is there anything else about your nightmare that you want to talk about?”

“No,” said Miles. He gave a tired chuckle. “That was all of it. All I remember, anyway.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Better. Not great, but better.” Miles rubbed at his eyes. “But I’ll be okay.”

“I know you will,” said Peter softly. “Come on. Let’s try to get some sleep.”

They bundled themselves back under the blanket and Miles buried his head against the pillow. “Thanks, Peter,” he mumbled. “I love you.”

“I love you too, bud,” said Peter warmly. “Wake me up if you need me.”

“Mm-hmm.”

And in that moment, as he dozed off in Peter’s arms, he didn’t think about death or the what-ifs. He thought about how lucky he was to have so many people who loved him, and that he was given a gift that allowed him to protect them.


	2. Peni

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featuring my interpretation on the bond between Peni and her spider.

_She was alone._

_Peni clung to the damaged shell of her SP//dr mech. The thick glass dome had been shattered and the hull was riddled with bullet holes. Smoke poured from the robot, curling thick and dark in the air. Rain drizzled from the sky but Peni couldn’t feel it splatter against her skin._

_She looked around desperately. Metal limbs were strewn about the ground, coloured wires curling through the rips in the steel. Her fingers clawed at the square hatch in which SP//dr inhabited, but it refused to open._

_Lightning flashed and Scorpion appeared, a sadistic grin on his heavily tattooed face. He moved towards Peni and the girl tried prying her nails in the top slit of the hatch. “Help!” she screamed. “Someone help, please!”_

_“No one is coming to help you,” said Scorpion with a laugh._

_Peni stood, her nails now torn and dripping blood. She seized the lone limb left on the mech and started to drag it. She could just barely move it an inch at a time. It was too heavy for her._

_“No spider strength. No powers,” taunted Scorpion. “A hero who can’t even help herself.”_

_“Go away!”_

_Peni stood in front of SP//dr and threw her arms out protectively. Scorpion barked with mocking laughter and he grabbed her by the front of her shirt. He tossed her aside like she was a ragdoll._

_“Little spider…where are you?” he crooned._

_He peeled off the hatch with ease, revealing the spider nestled inside. “Run!” cried Peni._

_SP//dr scuttled out of the mech and moved rapidly across the dirt ground. Scorpion raised his tail. Peni tried to stand but found herself stuck. She stretched out a hand but SP//dr was far from her reach._

_The stinger struck, plunging directly through the arachnid’s body and severing it into tiny, smushed pieces._

…

Peni’s arm flared with pain and she rocketed upwards. Her eyes darted about wildly, taking in the familiar, darkened surroundings that was her bedroom. She found herself tangled in her orange blanket and she wrestled out of it, her heart pounding hard in her chest.

She was on the floor. She braced her body against her hands and knees and tried to collect herself. SP//dr’s concern flowed through their link and she felt a tickling sensation as it crawled along her neck. She gave a weak smile and gently stroked its back.

“I’m fine. It was just a nightmare.”

She got to her feet and wiped the sweat from her brow. Knowing sleep was now an impossibility, she left her bedroom and went to her lab.

**‘What was the nightmare about?’**

SP//dr didn’t send her thoughts directly, but Peni was able to interpret its feelings and answer accordingly. She ran her fingers through her short hair, finding it knotted and mussed. She tried tugging them loose but only succeeded in making them tighter.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said softly.

**‘You’re in pain.’**

Fear and deep insecurity clouded their bond. Peni took a breath and rolled back her shoulders, fighting back tears. “It’ll pass,” she said with a flippancy she didn’t feel. “You can go back to sleep, if you want.”

**‘No. I want to stay with you.’**

SP//dr nestled in the crook of her neck and Peni felt a pang deep in her chest as her mind conjured the image of its lifeless, squashed body. The tears won the battle and sprung to her eyes. She frantically swiped them away.

**‘Tell me what’s wrong.’**

“It’s stupid,” she muttered.

She reached the organized chaos that was her lab and stared at the mech, which stood motionless and whole in the charging chamber. A shiver ran down her spine as the accented voice of Scorpion rose from the depths of her memory.

She had survived only because Ham and Noir were there to save her.

“I don’t have any powers,” she whispered, trailing a hand along her workbench. “I don’t have super strength. I can’t stick to walls. If…if I go up against a villain like Miles’ Scorpion again…I’m helpless. I’m only a hero because of you and our mech.”

**‘That’s ridiculous.’**

“It’s not,” said Peni. “I—”

_I can’t save myself when I’m by myself._

But she couldn’t voice the haunting thought and she swallowed thickly. She gripped her tablet and her fingers started to fly across the screen. She ignored SP//dr’s pressing thoughts, but couldn’t ignore it when it crawled to rest against her tablet.

**‘You always throw yourself into work whenever you can’t sleep.’**

“It makes me feel better,” said Peni stubbornly.

**‘No it doesn’t.’**

Peni pursed her lips. Sometimes it could be annoying to have every thought and emotion exposed to SP//dr. “You know I won’t be able to go back to sleep. So I might as well try to get some work done.”

**‘Why don’t you talk to Noir?’**

“No,” said Peni with wide eyes. “He’s just going to worry.”

**‘I think you’re more worried that he’ll agree with you.’**

“You—ugh.” Peni huffed and smacked her tablet down. She crossed her arms over her chest and paced the length of her lab. “He’s probably sleeping.”

**‘He won’t mind if you interrupt.’**

“It really doesn’t matter.”

**‘Yes, it does.’**

They both felt the persistent insecurities and terror that tied a heavy knot in Peni’s gut. It made her thoughts swirl, telling her in a hundred different ways of how she wasn’t good enough. SP//dr heard them loud and clear and knew Peni would drown in them unless she sought help.

“Fine,” she muttered, if only because SP//dr was also suffering because of her turmoil and she didn’t want to make her beloved partner endure it any longer.

Abandoning her plans to delve into a sea of code, Peni returned to her bedroom. She slid into her pink computer chair and lifted the lid of her multidimensional laptop.

**_Peni created a Private Chat_ **

**_Peni invited Noir to Private Chat_ **

**Peni: @Noir** I really need to talk to you when you have a sec.

The response was immediate.

 **Noir:** I’m coming over.

Peni had just closed her laptop when Noir appeared in a flash of light. The lenses of his glasses shone at her even in the darkness. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“I had a nightmare,” she whispered.

“Ah.” Understanding dawned and he lowered to sit on the edge of her bed. He patted the space next to him and Peni complied with the silent instruction. She folded her hands in her lap and Noir set his arm around her. “Those can be a real pill. What was it about?”

“I was in a forest. The SP//dr mech was destroyed. Miles’ Scorpion appeared and…and I tried to get SP//dr out but the door was stuck. Scorpion…he…he killed—”

“Hey.” Noir squeezed her elbow tenderly. “SP//dr is fine, doll.”

**‘You didn’t tell me this part of your dream.’**

_‘I didn’t want to think about it,’_ returned Peni, communicating through their bond rather than vocally to prevent confusing Noir.

**‘But that is not the only part of your dream that upset you. You have yet to tell him the rest.’**

“Peni?”

“Sorry,” said Peni, turning her attention back to Noir. “I know SP//dr is safe. It was just really unsettling, that’s all.”

Noir tilted his head to the side, regarding her tight smile and disturbed eyes. “I think there’s something more to your dream that unsettled ya, doll.”

“I…I’m afraid to tell you,” said Peni, tears building in her eyes. “I don’t want to be right.”

Frowning sharply, Noir framed her face with his hands. “Ya don’t ever have to be afraid to tell me anything. What don’t ya want to be right about?”

“If you and Ham didn’t save me back at the collider, SP//dr and I would be dead. The only spider powers I have are accelerated healing and Spider-Sense. If I’m ever by myself…and someone gets the best of me like Scorpion did…there’s nothing I can do. I have nothing.”

Peni’s shoulders shook as she started to sob. Noir shifted so he could pull her against his chest, his arms holding her tightly. “That’s bats,” he said strongly. “Ya don’t have nothing. Sweetheart, you’re savvy for all this tech stuff. You’re a genius. Ya don’t need all the spider powers we got—ya got your own.”

“But at the collider—”

“Your goober is the only reason we had a chance to get back home. We’d have been sunk without ya. And ya think ya were down for the count, but I saw that swing of yours. Ya clocked Scorpion good, and I know it ain’t easy to lift metal.”

Peni gave a watery laugh. “That _was_ pretty impressive.”

“All that ya do is impressive,” said Noir firmly. He stroked Peni’s cheeks, clearing away her tears. “Ya ain’t less than us just because ya don’t have the same powers.”

“I know I’m not,” said Peni with sniffle. “But…but do you really think I’ll be okay? If I find myself without my mech again?”

“You’re gonna be more than okay. You’re strong and clever. And if ya ever find yourself in a situation where ya need help, that’s why ya made these.” Noir tapped Peni’s PMT before tapping his own. “We all need help sometimes, sweetheart. We all worry about losing more loved ones. But I think we’re all in a better spot now, thanks to you and Gwen. So don’t ever think ya have nothing, or that ya are nothing. Ya understand?”

“Yeah,” said Peni softly. She looped her arms around Noir’s neck and hugged him tight. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, doll.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Noir started to run his fingers through her hair but found that he couldn’t, due to the abundance of knots. “What happened?” he asked in bewilderment, for she very rarely let her locks get so unkempt.

“Nightmares,” said Peni with a sigh. “I dunno what I do in my sleep when I’m having them, but whatever it is turns my hair into a mess.”

“Why don’t ya grab a brush? I’ll work ‘em out for ya.”

“Okay!”

Peni jumped from the bed and went to the bathroom to grab her hairbrush. **‘I’m glad you feel better.’**

“Me too,” said Peni sincerely. “I’m sorry for worrying you.”

**‘You can’t help nightmares. I’m just happy that if you won’t listen to me, you’ll at least listen to Noir.’**

“I know you were telling me the truth,” said Peni, opening a drawer and seizing her bright green multi-brush. She cocked her chin so that she could lightly rest her nose against SP//dr. “I love you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

**‘And I don’t know what I’d do without you. You are much like your father.’**

Tenderness filled the comment. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I know you miss him too.”

**‘I’m grateful to Noir and the rest. They provide you with something that I cannot.’**

“SP//dr—”

**‘It’s okay, Peni. I know what we have is special and can’t be broken. But so is what you have with the rest of the Spiders. You need them, too.’**

“Yeah,” said Peni with a warm smile. “I do.”

She returned to Noir and giggled when he pulled her into his lap. SP//dr crawled to rest on the back of her hand and she touched one of its legs with the tip of her finger. Noir gently and meticulously wound the brush through her knots and the rhythmic motion caused Peni’s eyes to droop.

When her hair was smooth and she was fast asleep, Noir eased her down against her pillow. SP//dr went to curl up in its bed, lulled by the contentment flowing through their bond. Noir tucked himself beside her and covered her with her blanket. Only when he was satisfied that she was in a peaceful slumber did he allow sleep to claim him.


	3. Gwen

_The Lizard rampaged through the school. Students were screaming as they sprinted through the halls, ducking to avoid the locker units that were being chucked in their direction._

_Gwen swung through the halls, soaring above the fleeing students. She slammed her fist against the Lizard’s jaw, sending it flying backwards. With a guttural cry it regained its footing and charged towards her._

_Its face was twisted with agony. She could see the despair in its dark eyes. Something was very wrong._

_She tried to come to a halt. But her arms and legs kept moving, carrying her towards the mutated creature. She punched the Lizard again and it cried out, crashing into the wall and causing plaster to rain down upon it._

_Gwen did not cease her assault. Even as her mind was screaming at her to stop, she was no longer in control of her body. She brutally beat the Lizard, her fists and feet splitting its scaly skin open, blood spurting from the fresh wounds. The Lizard howled, primal and full of agony, and tears spilled from Gwen’s eyes._

_She grabbed the Lizard by the head and smashed it against the bay of mangled lockers. Finally, the Lizard fell to the floor, eerily silent. Its body started to shrink and morph, and it was Miles who appeared before her._

_His eyes were swollen shut. Crimson blood seeped down his face, dripping from the gashes in his head. His lips were parted and blood pooled in the gap, oozing slowly down his chin. Fist-sized bruises littered his broken body._

_“You killed him!”_

_Gwen whirled around. Peni stood before her, her expression furious. “You killed him,” she repeated. “Just like you killed Peter! Are you going to kill me too?”_

_Gwen tried to speak, tried to tell the girl that no, of course she wouldn’t kill her, that she was sorry and she didn’t mean it. But she blinked and Peni’s body was at her feet, her skin marred with bloody scales and white with death._

_A hand fell on her shoulder and Gwen turned, meeting the black eye sockets of Peter’s corpse. His bones protruded through the remaining thin sheets of skin, and when he spoke, the loose flesh flapped around his jaw._

_“You killed me. You killed them. You don’t deserve to have friends.”_

…

Gwen rocketed upwards with a choked cry.

She fumbled blindly in the dark, her heart racing and her cheeks damp with tears. She turned on her bedside lamp and a soft yellow glow drenched part of her bedroom. Gwen swung her legs over the edge of her bed and took a few shuddering breaths.

“Damn,” she whispered, furiously rubbing at her eyes.

She balanced her elbows against her knees and focussed on her breathing. Her inhales and exhales were measured and controlled, and slowly but surely her heartbeat started to return to normal. The anxiety and fear, however, did not loosen their hold on her chest.

“Knock it off, Stacy,” she muttered. “Miles and Peni are fine.”

But her dimension’s Peter filled her mind, the ugly, half-decayed corpse her subconscious had conjured, and she felt sick. She crossed her white-carpeted floor with bare feet and went into her bathroom. She cranked the tap and water gushed from the sink’s nozzle. She splashed her face aggressively, but the shock of the cold liquid did nothing to dispel her torment.

She had made a mistake.

She shouldn’t have agreed to be friends with Miles and Peni. She shouldn’t have allowed herself to grow so close to them. She couldn’t go through that kind of pain again. She didn’t think she would survive it.

Gwen went to her room and grabbed her multidimensional laptop from her computer desk. She settled back in her bed and perched her laptop on her crossed legs. Her fingers hovered over the keys, her brain trying to sort her whirling thoughts. She created a private chat and the cursor paused over Miles’ name. Gwen swallowed, the image of his dead body still fresh and glimmering behind her eyes.

“Just be kind about it,” she said to herself. “Tell them it’s all you, and that you can’t do this, and it’s best if you separate yourself.”

But her fingers refused to obey.

Despite the pain in her heart and the agony in her soul, Gwen knew even through the haze of her dread that there was no way Peni or Miles would ever leave her. They would not let her go without a fight, and the fierce love that surged at the very thought of them would never dissipate.

It was this love that scared her, the same love she had held for Peter. The love that had shattered her when she was forced to look upon Peter’s dead body and see what she had done, however unknowingly.

_“Come on, Gwen, stop being stupid.”_

A watery laugh escaped Gwen as Peter’s voice, preserved in a decade’s worth of memories, echoed in her ears. She could picture his exasperation and the fond roll of his eyes at her stubbornness.

She had run away, once, and she had been miserable and isolated. To have Miles and Peni in her life was a blessing and she would be a fool to turn away from them.

**_Gwen created a Private Chat._ **

**_Gwen invited Miles and Peni to Private Chat._ **

**Gwen:** So I just had a nightmare and it sucked. If you want to come over and chill before school, that would be great.

Gwen eased the lid down and placed it on her nightstand, shoving aside a box of tissues and her docking station to make room. She flopped back against her pillows with a tired, weary sigh.

She was lost in her dark thoughts for five minutes when she was distracted by twin flashes of white light. Blue eyes went wide with surprise as she rolled onto her side, watching as Miles and Peni appeared, the latter armed with a duffel bag.

“Sorry it took so long,” whispered Peni. “I had to get supplies.”

“Took me a minute to find my laptop to see what you sent,” said Miles sheepishly. “I really need to clean my part of the room.”

“I didn’t mean that you had to come right now,” said Gwen guiltily. “I thought you wouldn’t see it until the morning.”

“Of course we came right away,” said Miles.

Clad in his red nightshirt and black pajama pants, he crawled to lie beside Gwen. Peni rummaged through her purple bag and removed several bags of candy and coloured marshmallows. She clutched them under one arm and cuddled next to Gwen’s other side. Miles seized the edge of the pastel pink blanket and pulled it over them.

Surrounded by their warmth, fresh tears sprung to Gwen’s eyes. “Nightmares suck.”

“Tell me about it,” said Miles sympathetically. He looped an arm around her shoulders as Peni wrapped her arms around Gwen’s waist, nuzzling against her side and letting the candy slide down the bunches they created in the blanket. “You wanna talk about it?”

“I was fighting the Lizard,” whispered Gwen. “In my dream I knew something was wrong but I couldn’t stop. I just kept fighting it. But this time the Lizard morphed into you, Miles. You were dead—”

Her voice cracked and Miles buried his head into her neck. “Hey, hey, it’s okay.”

“And then Peni showed up, and she said I killed you, and then she was dead,” continued Gwen tearfully. “The dead corpse of my Peter appeared and he said I killed you guys like I killed him—”

She dissolved into sobs and Peni clung to her. “You didn’t kill him,” she insisted. “You know you didn’t. It was the chemicals he drank that caused his body to shut down.”

“But I didn’t help him,” said Gwen tremulously. “I made things worse.”

“You couldn’t have known,” said Miles softly. “You did what you were supposed to do—you protected your city. How were you supposed to know what Peter had done to himself?”

“You’re not going to get us killed,” said Peni firmly. “I know your Peter was suffering…and I know what that feels like. But we talk to each other all the time. We can help each other if our problems start to get to be too much.”

“I wish my Peter had talked to me more,” said Gwen mournfully.

“I’m sorry he didn’t,” said Miles, squeezing her shoulder. “But what happened to him is not your fault, Gwen. It never was.”

“And we’ll keep telling you that,” chimed in Peni.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever believe it.”

“Trust me, I get that,” said Miles feelingly. “I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself for not being to save my uncle or Mr. Parker.”

“That’s not—” began Gwen automatically, but Miles cut over her, knowing exactly what she was going to say.

“And you didn’t do anything wrong either, Gwen. As hard as it is for both of us believe, we’ll have to try.”

Gwen let out a slow breath, the vice-grip on her chest relaxing and allowing the air to travel to her lungs without constriction. “Yeah. I’ll try.”

“And we’re always here for you, no matter the time,” said Peni.

“Thanks, guys. I, uh, actually had a pretty stupid thought as I was creating the private chat. I was trying to think up a nice way to tell you that it would be best if I wasn’t friends with you anymore.”

Peni immediately sat up, scattering the plastic bags of candy and her eyes narrowing into slits. “Excuse me?”

“Yeah, that’s a pretty stupid thought,” said Miles with a frown.

Peni jabbed Gwen in the chest. “We’re not leaving you,” she said fiercely, “and you’re not leaving us, not because you think you don’t deserve us. We love you, Gwen.”

“I love you too,” said Gwen with a sniff, rubbing the lingering tears from her cheeks.

“We’re, like, the Three Musketeers,” said Miles. “We belong together.”

“Best friends forever,” cheered Peni, sticking her fist in the air.

Miles quickly copied her action and with a smile Gwen followed their lead. They lightly bumped knuckles before lowering their arms. “Can we tear into this candy now?”

“Absolutely,” beamed Peni.

Miles ripped open a bag of cherry sour gummies and shoved a handful into his mouth. “What time do you want us to leave?” he asked between chews. “I don’t think your dad will be too happy to find me in your bed.”

“He doesn’t wake up until eight tomorrow, so you should be good until then,” said Gwen, sinking her teeth into a caramel.

“I’ll set an alarm,” said Peni, her words muffled by the sheer number of marshmallows in her cheeks. But her friends got the gist when she leaned over to pull her phone out of her bag and set up an eight o’clock wake-up call.

They gorged on candy, tucked against each other under the covers, and a deep warmth encompassed Gwen. Yes, the love she felt for them terrified her sometimes, but those moments of fear and doubt were few and far in-between. She wouldn’t let her guilt, deserved or not, rob her of her companions.

When she had her fill of sugar and her eyes started to droop, Gwen snuggled into her pillow. She curled an arm around Peni, who gave a happy hum and curled back up against her. Miles pressed his chin against her shoulder, his breath gentle against her neck.

“Good night,” murmured Gwen.

“Sweet dreams,” said Peni with a yawn.

“And if not, we’re here,” said Miles drowsily, and it was this comfort that Gwen fell asleep to.

…

Gwen awoke a few hours later to the warmth of her Spider-Sense. She blinked blearily at Ham, who stood next to her bed with his hands resting on his hips. “Hi,” she greeted tiredly.

“Who is it?” mumbled Miles.

“Ham.”

“Hiiiii, Ham,” said Peni sleepily.

Ham regarded the Spiderlings, who were practically tangled together. They had moved in their sleep and Gwen and Miles were spooning, with Peni sprawled overtop them, her weight a soothing comfort. Candy littered the bedspread, sticking to the fabric and creating faded neon-coloured spots.

“A school night sleepover, huh?” Ham observed with amusement. “Hope you actually slept.”

“It was an impromptu sleepover,” said Gwen with a yawn. “I had a nightmare.”

Ham’s expression went soft. “Ah. Sorry to hear that, rockstar.”

He lightly brushed her hair from her forehead and Gwen made a pleased sound at the affectionate gesture. “It’s okay. I feel better now. What brings you here so early?”

Her docking station/alarm clock, which perched precariously on the edge of her nightstand, told her it was seven o’clock. Ham chuckled. “Saw you kiddos together when I checked the PMT. Figured I’d come and see what’s up before Noir did his own morning check of the trackers.”

Gwen, who was well-informed of Noir’s opinions on late school night gatherings, grunted. “School ruins everything.”

“Blah,” said Peni with a pout.

She rolled off her friends and dropped to the floor. She started to collect the pieces of candy but Ham waved her hand away. “I got it, gumball.”

“You’re the best,” said Peni gratefully, leaning down to hug him. She embraced Gwen and Miles next. “See you guys later!”

“See you, Pen,” said Miles, struggling his way out of Gwen’s bed.

“Talk to you after school,” added Gwen. She gently squeezed Peni’s wrist. “Thanks again.”

“Anytime,” said Peni brightly.

She grabbed her duffel bag, offered her friends a salute and vanished. Miles glanced at Gwen and asked, “You good?”

Gwen smiled. “Definitely. Thanks, Miles.”

“Like Peni said. Anytime.”

They exchanged a fist bump and Miles departed. Gwen pulled off her covers, grimacing at the stickiness her fingers and toes encountered. “Ugh.”

“I’m a pig and even I’m not this much of a slob,” said Ham with a grin.

Gwen swung her legs over the edge of her bed, picking off the hard fruit candy that clung to her purple cotton bottoms. “Ha ha.”

Ham hopped to stand beside her on the mattress, his hand settling against her cheek. “Nightmare, huh?”

“Yeah. It was…pretty rough. I was fighting the Lizard and instead of it turning into my Peter, it turned into Miles and he was dead. Peni appeared and started yelling at me, saying I killed him, and then she was dead too.” Gwen laid her fingers overtop his. “But I’m good now. I talked it out with them.”

“Good to hear,” said Ham sincerely. “You know you can talk to me whenever, right?”

“I know,” she assured. “The nightmare was about Peni and Miles, so—”

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” interrupted Ham. “I just wanted to reiterate that I’m here for you.”

“I don’t usually have nightmares about you,” said Gwen thoughtfully. “It’s always about my Peter, or more recently Miles and Peni. I think it’s because I managed to save my dad from that bullet.”

“What’s that got to do with me?” asked Ham in puzzlement.

Gwen raised a brow at him. “I dunno, Pops. I guess my subconscious is pretty confident in my ability to save my dads.”

The love in her eyes was returned in full force by Ham, who cupped her chin and rested his snout against her nose. “Get ready for school, rockstar. I’ll take care of the mess you runts made.”

“Thank you.” Gwen pressed a kiss against the top of his head before standing, stretching out her arms. Love buoyed her heart, filled her with peace, and a wistful, tender smile formed on her features.

_Sorry for being stupid, Peter. I’ll do my best to make you proud. I promise._


	4. Peter

_“Help me! Peter, help me!”_

_Miles’ shouts, filled with panic and desperation, echoed throughout the endless dark space. There was nothing but blackness stretching out in all directions and Peter ran blindly through it. His feet pounded against what seemed to be nothingness as he searched for the boy._

_“Miles! Bud, where are you?”_

_He could hear heavy, muffled thuds, the familiar sound of fists pummeling solid bone and flesh. Miles’ yelps of pain peeled through the vast void. “Peter!” he choked out. “I’m right here! Help me!”_

_Peter spun on his heel, straining to pinpoint the thirteen-year-old among the thick, consuming shadows. Miles sounded like he was nearby but Peter couldn’t locate him. As he moved helplessly through the pitch-black space, he could hear Miles’ shouts getting wetter, his breaths becoming short and gurgled._

_“Pe…ter…”_

_“Miles! Miles!”_

_Silence fell. Peter fumbled about with his arms outstretched in the hopes of running into Miles. A weak, feeble cry pierced the air. Peter tried to follow it._

_“Miles?” he ventured hesitantly._

_His foot struck something and he went sprawling, smacking into the invisible barrier that prevented him from falling into the black depths. He rolled over, his eyes travelling down to see what had tripped him._

_Miles’ body lay at his feet. His mask was rolled up against his forehead. His face was soaked with blood, his skin swollen and miscoloured from the trauma of the beating he endured. His left eye was clouded red and drooping._

_Peter gingerly pressed his fingers against Miles’ chest. There was a squelching sound from where the blood was trapped and puddled beneath his suit._

_“Wah…wah…wah…”_

_That cry…what was making that cry?_

_Peter trailed his gaze down Miles’ body. There was a tiny bundle in a yellow blanket tucked against Miles’ side. The edges of the blanket were stained red. Peter slowly reached over and unfurled the folds of the feather-soft fabric._

_The baby he uncovered was also drenched in blood. Its cries got softer and softer, its little body curled in on itself and its skin turning blue. A miniscule bubble of blood formed between its lips before popping and the baby went quiet._

_A wail wrenched through the void, broken and full of grief. It was familiar and feminine. The moment Peter realized the agonized howling belonged to Mary Jane the barrier beneath his feet shattered and he was falling, careening through the bottomless pit—_

Peter’s eyes sprang open and he let out a frightened gasp. His stomach felt like it was in freefall and he rolled over, bracing his elbows against the hardwood floor. He panted for breath, his chest painfully tight and his heart thudding fast against his ribcage. The disoriented fog slowly receded from his mind and his body registered the solid weight beneath his palms. His stomach settled and Peter got shakily to his feet.

Sweat beaded on his brow and he swiped at it with the back of his hand. The darkness of his apartment curled around him and his breath went ragged as he thought about the black void of his nightmare. He turned on all the lights and the sudden brightness momentarily blinded him. He leaned against his kitchen counter and rubbed at his chest, as if the motion would work out the ache.

He tried some deep breathing. At first the tightness in his chest refused to accept the air. But he persisted, his brown eyes focussing on a crack in the wall. Eventually the tension and anxiety eased from his body enough to let the oxygen reach his lungs without a fight.

With a weary sigh, Peter ran his fingers through his hair and shuffled back to the main room. The silence in his apartment furthered agitated his already frayed nerves and he turned on the television. He dropped to his mattress and flicked through the channels, trying to find a program to distract him from his troubled thoughts. But the dead bodies of Miles and the infant were burned into his retinas and Mary Jane’s mournful wail echoed in his ears.

His fingers quavered and the remote slipped from his grasp. The noise of the television offering not nearly enough to sidetrack him, he rose to his knees and shuffled over to his desk. There were two laptops sitting on the scratched wooden surface and, with his vision hindered with sudden tears, he grabbed the one closest to him.

He eased back into a sitting position and scrubbed furiously at his eyes. He cracked open the lid and quickly realized he snagged his multidimensional laptop instead of his regular computer. He was about to make the switch when he noticed the green dot next to Miles’ name.

Concern flooded through him, for it was rare for Miles to be up so late. Momentarily forgetting his own problems, Peter typed out a message.

**Peter B:** It’s one in the morning, Miles. What are you doing?

**Miles:** Studying for my history test tomorrow.

**Peter B:** How long have you been studying?

**Miles:** Er, about an hour.

**Peter B:** Should have started earlier, bud.

**Miles:** I know, I know. But the second school was over I heard a news report about a carjacking with the owner of the vehicle still inside. After I put a stop to that, there was a fire at an apartment complex. Then I had to do my regular patrol and there were like five attempted robberies. It was a crazy day, man.

**Peter B:** Sometimes it can be like that. You okay?

**Miles:** Oh yeah, I’m fine.

**Miles:** What about you? What are you doing up so late?

His conversation with Miles had done what mindless television couldn’t. It distracted him from the nightmare, which had been born out of his deepest fear. But the dread and panic came back in full force with Miles’ innocent question and Peter winced.

He couldn’t tell the kid. Miles already had an exhausting day. He didn’t need to deal with Peter’s problems as well.

**Peter B:** As an adult I’m allowed to make terrible decisions. This is one of them.

**Miles:** Is everything good?

**Peter B:** I’m fine, Miles. Just a bout of insomnia. It happens. Get to bed, buddy. It won’t matter how much or how little studying you do if you don’t get any sleep.

**Miles:** Yeah, all right.

**Peter B:** Good man. Night, kiddo.

**_Peter B has logged off_ **

Feeling some semblance of peace after speaking with Miles, Peter set his multidimensional laptop back onto his desk and picked up his normal computer. To try and cheer himself up he watched YouTube videos of people attempting his Spider-Man flips and failing hilariously.

The back of his neck erupted with warm tingles and he snapped his eyes up to see Miles appearing in the middle of his apartment. The thirteen-year-old was wearing a red hoodie and plaid pajama bottoms, a textbook clutched loosely under one arm.

The bright light of the apartment cast Peter’s bloodshot and disturbed eyes into sharp clarity. Miles frowned. “You said everything was good.”

His accusing tone caused Peter to sigh and set his laptop aside. “I must really look like crap.”

“You definitely do.” Miles stepped onto the mattress and eased beside Peter. Tucking his knees against his chest, he asked softly, “Are you having those thoughts again?”

“No, this time it was a nightmare,” muttered Peter.

“What was it about?”

Peter’s nails bit into his palms as his fingers clenched. “Don’t worry about it, Miles. It was pretty heavy stuff.”

There was pain in Peter’s face, the kind of pain one felt in their soul. Miles hated to see him suffering and he felt an inexplicable anger. He smacked Peter in the arm with his history textbook and he yelped.

“Miles! What the hell—”

But his words halted when he saw the hurt in Miles’ eyes. “You promised,” the teen said hotly. “You promised me that you would talk to me when you got scared or had dark thoughts that wouldn’t leave you. Why did you lie?”

Peter flinched. “I’m sorry, bud,” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean to lie. I meant my promise when I made it. But I have this instinct to protect you, from your problems and mine. I didn’t want to burden you.”

“You’re not a burden, Peter. I want to be here for you, like you’re always here for me. I get that sometimes you gotta work through things yourself. But not the heavy stuff. That’s the stuff that drowns you and I don’t want that to happen to you.”

Miles opened his arms, his eyes earnest, and Peter leaned into his embrace. He hugged the boy tightly to his chest, feeling the solid thump of Miles’ heartbeat, and he let out a shuddering breath. “You were screaming for me,” he said shakily. “I heard your voice but couldn’t see you. When I finally found you, you were dead, and there was a baby—”

His shoulders started to shake and Miles clung to him, burying his head against Peter’s neck. “It’s okay, Peter.”

The man took a wobbly breath. “Mary Jane and I have been talking. About getting married again, about having kids. I love her, Miles. But I’m scared.”

“Why?” asked Miles, leaning back as far as Peter’s grip would allow to make eye contact. “Why are you scared?”

“If I fail—”

Miles firmly pressed a finger against Peter’s lips, cutting him off. “You’re only going to fail if you let your fear of failure overcome you. What you and Mary Jane have is true love. If you give her your very best, like you are now, you won’t fail her. Just because you’re Spider-Man doesn’t mean you can’t have a family. You’re, like, an amazing dad, Peter. Little Pete or Little MJ is going to be so lucky to have you and Mary Jane as parents.”

There was nothing but belief and sincerity in his voice. Peter gave a tired, weak smile. “I’m an amazing dad, huh?”

Miles nodded seriously. “Oh yeah.”

“We’ll see if you think that the next time you land in trouble.” Warmth and intense love filled Peter and he adjusted his grip so he could pull Miles into his lap. “Thank you, Miles,” he whispered. “You’re right. I can’t let my fear control me. When Mary Jane and I are ready, whether it be in a few months or a couple years, our child is going to have the best big brother.”

Miles beamed. “I’m gonna show them all the ropes. I’ll teach them about street art, how to sleep in class without getting caught, how to play video games—there’s so many things we can do together. It’ll be great. You should hurry up and have a baby.”

“I’ll be sure to tell MJ how anxious you are for us to procreate.”

“Ugh.” Miles made a disgusted face. “Now you’re just getting gross.”

Peter laughed, his heart light. His fears were chased away by the opportunities that awaited them on the horizon. The thought of Miles cradling Baby Parker brought forth immense joy.

He loosened his hold and Miles rolled out of his embrace. He reached for his textbook but Peter promptly leaned over and knocked it away. Miles frowned as it slid across the floor and further from his grasp.

“Peter!”

“Nuh-uh. Sleep time. All that anxiety made me exhausted.”

“But my test!”

“You can study in the morning and during lunch.” Peter grabbed his phone from where it rested on the floor and set an alarm. “This time we’re going to make sure you don’t sleep in.”

Miles’ eyes were sagging and he figured it was probably a sign that he wouldn’t retain much if he tried to cram some more. He snuggled into the pillow and closed his eyes, listening as Peter went around the apartment to turn off the lights and the television. This time, when darkness engulfed him, Peter felt only peace.

He laid next to the thirteen-year-old that had become a focal point in his life. He set an arm around Miles’ waist and shut his eyes with an affectionate smile on his lips.

Miles thought he was an amazing father, and that was more than enough to keep him from worrying.


End file.
